VERILY, I SAY UNTO YOU: IT HAS COME TO PASS.
I - famous from such hijinx as "it would cost less to insure a monkey than it would to insure her!" and "I promise you she hasn't been drinking, Officer, she's just that bad of a driver"- have purchased a motor vehicle. And not just any motor vehicle. A brand spanking new, sparkly turquoise SUV.
Behold...
"Ahhhhhh!"
Dreamy.
E captured me doing some kind of "ohmygod I own a car" dance.
Look out, Dubai. (No, really... look out.)
My regrettably non-status plate... still waiting for a patron on that one.
"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" bil arabiyya... problematic because I have this habit of trying to sound out every Arabic word I see, which is not what you should be doing whilst switching lanes (or so they tell me).
Honestly though. If you ever want to do something insanely empowering, I recommend buying a car in a foreign country. Especially in the Gulf. As a single American woman. From a dealership where they blare Arabic pop on the showroom floor and the Jordanian sales guy tells you to "speak with more respect" when you get assertive after a week of delays, inshallahs, and bukras (tomorrows). Bonus points if you manage to get it delivered on the first day of Ramadan by threatening to pull wusta (connections) with random important Emiratis who you may or may not actually know.
Lest anyone report me to the Al Gore Police for buying a non-hybrid SUV, okay yes I know it's bad, but I think I should be absolved of some guilt given that:
(a) I have not owned a car and have been reliant on public transportation for the past 8 years so I think my carbon footprint is pretty low
(b) Dubai is that rare place where you actually need an SUV - both because other drivers don't respect you if you're in a small car, and because thanks to the total lack of urban planning you often have to off-road in order to get from Point A to Point B (provided you don't want to drive all the way to Oman to turn around)
(c) Shockingly, in a country where it costs $15 to fill your gas tank from empty, hybrids are not marketed. Not just "oh you don't really see them on the roads" not marketed, but actually "I would have to import it from another country" not marketed.
Okay, conscience eased. Now I'm off to load up the SUV and drive to the emirate of Sharjah for a paintball game organized by a Californian friend, the teams for which will be "Americans/People Who Like Americans" and "The Rest of the World." Yallah bye-bye!
