So I was just walking down the hall at my office and a tall, blond, attractive, well-dressed British girl about my age came out of the elevator, engrossed in conversation with several of my male dishdash-clad Emirati colleagues. And it was so funny because my initial reaction - before my brain even had time to process the situation - was "Oh my gosh that girl must be such a joke, I bet they don't take her seriously at all."
It wasn't that she looked like a bimbo; quite the contrary, in fact. But something about how Western she looked - stylish suit, high heels, long blond hair - juxtaposed against how "Eastern" my local colleagues looked was very jarring. So after my initial reaction of "They must not take her seriously," my next thought was, "Oh wow, that must be how I come off to people when I'm with my colleagues!" The crazy part is that I really like most of my male Emirati colleagues and have never felt disrespected by them for being a Western female - so it's crazy how stereotypes and gut reactions persist even when you've lived through experiences counter to them.
In other news, I think I may have just had a rage blackout sitting at my computer trying to pay bills online. Let me just preface this by saying that I have been here for almost 4 months and have yet to receive a single bill for any of the myriad things that I am allegedly supposed to be paying for on a monthly basis (landline, cable, internet, water/electricity, credit card, car loan, road tolls, etc). Why have I never received a bill? Because they are sent through the mail. Why is this a problem? Because there is no mail system. I mean, there's something called Emirates Post, but as far as I can tell it's run by a cadre of orangutans who receive my MasterCard statement, chew on it for a while, drag it through some poo, and then bury it under a pile of banana peels.
(NOTE TO SCHMOM AND DAD: I know it makes you nervous that I will get fired/deported when I talk bad about anything here. But Sheikh Mo likes people who speak truth to power and I honestly think he would agree with me on this. If Dubai is really going to be #1 in the world at everything - and it is, because Big Mo hath deemed it so - then I really think having postal services is as good a place as any to start.)
Anyhow, in light of my inability to receive anything through the mail and in light of the complete dearth of carrier pigeons in the UAE, I've been trying to pay online - which is amusing, insofar as it's an exercise in funny translations (telling me to "please choose a friendly name" - nickname?! - for the bank account I'm registering; admonishing me that "much time has passed since your last response!" when I've been logged out due to inactivity). Conveniently though, the error messages I get anytime I try to actually pay for anything are spot-on... and thus, I am apparently going to have to become a fugitive from the law and/or have some interesting run-ins with Emirati debt collection officers.
What else is new. Last weekend involved a lot of World Cup rugby, a lot of going out (since the clubs have now all reopened, post-Ramadan), and a lot of 5 AM Zaatar W Zeit. Respect. Ooh and Wednesday night I drank free Dom Perignon and saw Hugh Grant at Trilogy.
This weekend should be equally crazy since the Desert Rhythm Festival is bringing - wait for it - none other than KANYE WEST to Dubai. A friend's egregious roommate (mentioned previously for his ownership of a G-Wagon and an Aston Martin... now featuring an Escalade en plus) has connections with the promoter who's bringing him here, which means game ooooooooooooon afterparty with Kanye. I ain't sayin' she a golddigger, but...
(Wow, remember that time like 3 years ago when I was all domestic and living with le français and my life consisted of baking muffins [that's for you, MAF] and playing house and listening to Miles Davis over candlelight and confit de canard? And do you kind of feel like now I've regressed back to being an overcaffeinated 22 year-old who's like "Wait, what, shiny things?! SHINY SHINY!" I blame/thank Dubai.)
