Find a tattoo parlor in Dubai that is willing to tattoo the complete text of The Rules (or alternately, Why Men Love Bitches) in a highly visible place on my body.
Go to champagne brunch and lick my wounds.
Not necessarily in that order.
... in which our intrepid heroine darts from Dubai to Kabul to Riyadh while still trying to remember, "Hey, I'm from Tennessee!" Adventures and mishaps ensue.
(PS - I've moved! Find me at my new blog here.)